So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Randomize
