Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
