I think my vagina is haunted
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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