Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
