We're like a lot better than the average bears
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
