all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
