Christians are straight up FREAKS
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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