Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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