Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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