Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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