do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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