what day is it and did you see me today?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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