break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
