I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
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