i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
