I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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