dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
