I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
