Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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