These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
