totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
