threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
