just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Randomize
