Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
