Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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