if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
It was a blind-side dick pic.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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