i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
