One girl and one boy is just not enough.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Randomize
