There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
