hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
