dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
