I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
