haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
