you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
