i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
