its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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