he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Randomize
