what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
