dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
