Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
two words...techno handjob
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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