No awkward lesbian experiences without me
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
being pregnant is like rehab
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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