3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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