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pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
