my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
