My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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