I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
