He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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