Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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