i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
