would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
