Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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