I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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