I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
