Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
