doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
