There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
